I once had a significant tendency of spreading myself too thin. Be it an inability to disappoint by saying no, or a simple fear of missing out, “Yaz will do it.” “Yaz will be there.” “Yaz will be keen, for sure!” Well, sweet friends, you are in fact correct. I did do it. I was there. And I, most certainly, was keen.
Though I have discovered delight over the last few years in drinking in where I am rather than looking for the next sip elsewhere, I still find days where boredom, dissatisfaction and negligence spread me out thinner than Vegemite on toast.
I was reflecting with the Lord recently about the waves and trends of friendships in my life. I recognised a deep craving for more and a seemingly innocent longing to find the ‘right people’ that tick my boxes in a heartbeat – the ones where connection comes with great ease and our lives and schedules intertwine harmoniously! What a joy that would be! Then, I heard Jesus say, “Are you going to keep running around splashing about in the puddles? Or will you slow down and begin digging some wells?” I recognised His challenge: to go deep, not wide. I saw myself jumping in different puddles and friendships, letting each individual satisfy a different desire in me: playfulness, depth, creativity, wisdom, nostalgia, inspiration… Splash, splash, splash! Then there was a well. A covenantal friendship, in which I discovered, as I continued to draw water from the depths, that this well carried all that I had been thirsting for. In the safety and sustainability of this friendship, I had the privilege of the constant unearthing of a heart.
What if I believed that all of God, everything that I desired, fully dwelt within a friend? Colossians 2:9-10 says that in Jesus, the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and that we have been filled in Him. It is our gift to one another and to ourselves, to invest our time and love into quarrying the Christ that is within each other. Many times, I have found that my belief about somebody’s incapacity to carry a personality trait or a comforting word has not been correct. It has required a change of mind and heart about the person before me, and an intentional invitation into a new land within our friendship. But as I have allowed others to respond beyond my expectations of them, I am met with the delight of having made history together, and expanded our horizons for the future of relationship. As you recognise desires and groanings in your heart for ‘more’ or for ‘different’ within your friendships, come to your close circle and give opportunity for fulfilment. Ask questions, share your heart vulnerably, and make room. Allow the Lord to teach you to draw water from a depth you haven’t drawn before with this friend.
I say all of this, bearing in mind of course that our priority in relationships is not to have our needs met – with friends, spouses or with Jesus. We have the gift of receiving from others, just as we have the privilege of pouring out our affection and service to one another in our love for them. However, just as we hunger or thirst, the deep longing for love and for enjoyment is embedded into our humanity. So do we dig simply for our own satisfaction? No. But the depth achieved in the process, matched by your willingness to reciprocate, will kill loneliness and lack in your heart. The ever-expanding search will cease as contentment and gratitude take over.
When it comes to discovering God, the journey is endless. There is always more beauty to see and more wisdom to be uncovered. His affection towards us is beyond comprehension. The cross is an all-expenses-paid trip to oneness with the Creator of the universe, and complete bliss and contentment.
I invite you, today, to reflect on the desires of your heart and the relationships that surround your life. Is there a need you have, about which you are holding the belief that God is incapable of meeting it? What is it? Ask him to be the answer. Is there a lack of something in your close friendships? Do you need to look for new country to begin digging, or is it time to dig deeper than you have right where you are?
Puddles dry up overnight, but wells will continue to produce sweet water through the ages. You were made for the depths. Dig deep, friends.
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